Sixty and still starting over… And I’m okay Good grief! This holiday schedule has me wondering what day of the week it is and BAM …I realized that it is Wednesday, which is reserved for my “new normal” or my new beginnings as a divorced woman, at age 60! So here you go… When the reality of being divorced came to me, I was scared. I honestly NEVER thought I’d be in this place and yet, here I am, six months since the final decree. THE FINAL DECREE! Over the holidays, people asked me how I was doing, and every time I said, “I’m good.” Only once, did someone close to me say, “are you really good or are you just saying that?” Ouch…That hurt…I thought I was, but I had to really ask myself, “am I really okay?” This became the topic of discussion with my counselor today. “Am I really okay?” I asked her. ...
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Weekend Update… Curvy? Yes, I am! And a little more about the online dating thing With New Year’s Eve just hours away, there are all kinds of "specials" with the online dating sites. Evidently, the time period between Christmas and Valentine’s Day is the peak time for singles to get into online dating. This makes for an interesting "New Year's Resolution," agree? Match.com has announced that January 6 will be their biggest day of the year! They are encouraging updates to profiles, additional new pictures, and anything you can do to “spice up” your page! I decided to review my page and as a result, I have made a couple of changes but one of them has me perplexed! Here’s the deal. Try to stay with me…Remember when I was explaining about the various criteria that these sites requested? Well, I chose “curvy” ins...
My Christmas Hangover! Well, Christmas has come and gone…the preparations and the execution of our holiday events are now memories on Facebook or on our camera phones. I’m not hungover from alcohol (well, maybe there’s a little of that!), I’m hungover from the laughing, the fun, the tears, and the love! It’s the sweetest hangover…I don’t want to get over… First and foremost, when I’m with my family, I remember that I am not alone! Second, although not physically together with many, we connected through the miracle of face time and Facebook. Finally, although the traditions are a little different, there is still so much love all around. I’d like to share a Christmas Eve tradition with you all…Some of you may not know about it and for those of you who do know, forgive the repetition. When I was very young…I’m thinking 11 or 12 our Mom was the Music Director at church. This meant elaborate prep...
So This is Christmas… Tomorrow is Christmas Eve…I’m in my glory, having Katie & Anthony with me for the past couple of days and for the next couple of days. I’m in a good place…All around! Sundays for my blog have been reserved for dating stories, or getting back out there, so to speak. Today, I want to go there, but on a different level. Being okay, being alone. When my life changed, most especially, on the day that our divorce was final, (June 19…ugh…when do the dates start to fade away?) I felt different. I felt hollow, I felt sad, I felt scared and I felt alone. I also realized that there were options for me. I could wallow in these emotions or I could start my new reality. My new normal... My decision to be strong and move forward with courage and a newfound energy was lost in the grief I was feeling. I needed time to heal. Again, there is no formula...
Now I know…I still LOVE Christmas! Oh…and being a “fifth wheel” isn’t what it seems Oh boy...with the holidays upon us, I’ve had my first taste of feeling like the “fifth wheel.” Full disclosure: The people I was with did absolutely NOTHING to make me feel that way! I was with people I know and love well, but truly, for the first time, it felt different. Fortunately, I was able to keep the negativity at bay. These were my feelings. My realization was if I had invited myself or if I had pushed myself into a group, I could seem like a “fifth wheel.” However, if I am an invited guest, I’m not a “fifth wheel.” I am an invited guest that can add some fun to the group…or at least I’d like to think that! This whole scene is all too common for a recently divorced woman. I know some of you have experienced this same feeling. PLEASE...to my friends, there should be no guilt on your par...
Third Time's a Charm? Hello Match.com Just one minute...before I go any further with the dating sites/stories, I want to clear up a few things. As I have been sharing some of these stories, including the actual meeting of a couple of these matches, more than one person has said to me..."Gee, you didn't waste anytime getting back out there" and "How can you start dating? Are you ready?" I'd like to address these types of comments quickly. First of all, there is NO timeline for getting yourself "back out there." It must feel right for each individual person. In counseling, I questioned this many times...some formulas say wait three months for every year you were married... FOR REAL?!? That puts me more than eight years out...start the process of dating at 68 ye...
Venturing Out...Alone! Give it a try! Some of you know that with my job, I am off in June and July. I thought it would be great, and it is, but I started thinking about how without a lot of activity, I might find myself hosting more pity parties than I could afford. I knew the divorce would be final on June 19 and it would be a difficult time. I was determined to find ways to occupy my time and to steer clear of negativity! Enter...Day Trips, 101! I decided that each week in June and July, I would take a day trip, somewhere in the state of Ohio and try to venture out on my own. I went online to get some ideas and there are plenty of places to go. My plan was to visit a town/city/park and find a restaurant where I would eat lunch alone. For my first trip, I decided to go to the hometown of Smuckers, in Orville, Ohio. I love my jelly and thought this could be fun. ...