Third Time's a Charm? 

                          Hello Match.com

Just one minute...before I go any further with the dating sites/stories, I want to clear up a few things.   As I have been sharing some of these stories, including the actual meeting of a couple of these matches, more than one person has said to me..."Gee, you didn't waste anytime getting back out there"  and "How can you start dating?   Are you ready?"   I'd like to address these types of comments quickly.

First of all, there is NO timeline for getting yourself "back out there."  It must feel right for each individual person.   In counseling, I questioned this many times...some formulas say wait three months for every year you were married...FOR REAL?!?  That puts me more than eight years out...start the process of dating at 68 years old?  No thanks!   Rest assured, I'm a work in progress, but I'm ready for some male companionship.  I'm a #grownasswoman and I know when the timing is right.  

Second, I love support from my friends and family and will never stop asking for opinions.  I'll be sharing with you too.   Just know that sometimes, those comments can sting, and I may let you know that!

Finally, in this day and age, meeting someone online is very common...I'm sure you all know someone who has experienced a success story, although the horror stories certainly exist.    It's not the preferred method of meeting someone, but it is a viable option.  So, don't worry...I'm smart and I am extremely cautious with this process.   Now, for the Match.com stories.

So, as I bid farewell to Zoosk and Silver Singles, I was phasing into Match.com.   This is one of the original online dating sites...they have a history and they have lots of success stories. This time, my bank did not "ding" me when I subscribed.   That in itself was a good sign!

Here we go again...Relationship status, Children, Education, Body Type, Height, Age, Smoking/Drinking preferences, Ethnicity, Language, Education, Astrological sign, Occupation, Income range, Political views, Religion, Interests, Sports, Exercise routine, Bucket list, Favorite hot spots, Favorite things, Last read, For fun, Pets, and what I'm looking for in a partner.   Whew!   IT REALLY IS EXHAUSTING!   Their algorithm is pretty serious if they take all of this information and pair it up with a similar person.   The perfect match should be out there, right?

First up, the email announcing your "matches for the day."   So, I log in and check them out.   With Match, you can do an X or a heart.   Personally, I think a heart is too serious, but since those were my only options, I took the leap.   Unfortunately, most of the ones that received a heart from me, did not send a heart my way.   Again, the process of looking is so superficial because we are all judging first by the photos...and then by the physical specs.  With that being said, I basically X'd the ones that said they were looking for someone "athletic and toned" or "slender" since I chose "Curvy" as my body type.   I might add that some of the ones who were looking for "athletic and toned" were not very "athletic and toned" themselves.   It made the process of elimination fairly easy so I am not complaining.

I did make a "real" connection with one of my matches and we started the instant messaging/chatting process through the site.   We shared a little additional information about ourselves, our kids, and our jobs.   He asked me for my phone number and I did not give it to him.  *These sites warn you not to share your phone number of personal email address too soon.   After 3-4 days of chatting, he sent his phone number to me and said when I was ready, text him my number.   I thought that was a decent gesture.   I sent my number and before I knew what hit me, he was inviting me to meet for ice cream at Graeters!   After taking a deep breath, and realizing it's just ice cream, I agreed and we decided to meet.   He lived a little further north, so we chose a spot in between and determined Saturday at 3pm was a good time.   We decided this at 11am on the same Saturday.   Nothing like jumping in feet first...no time to get nervous or change my mind.   I alerted 2 friends, asking them to text me at 4pm, to make sure I was okay.   I let them know where I was going and if I didn't respond, please come to that location to rescue me.   Remember, I'm smart, but this is not the old days and I had no idea what to expect.  

It was raining cats and dogs and my roots needed to be touched up, but I clean up pretty well and I showed up at Graeters with a smile and looking just like my picture on Match.   Mike (his name) showed up right after me and we exchanged a hug.   I'm Italian, remember?  I hug everyone!   Lucky for Mike, I had gift cards so I treated to our ice cream.   We shared a small table and it was a lovely conversation about kids, life, what happened to our marriages, and what we wanted in a relationship.  Oh, and I should tell you, he was 53!  OMG!   I thought I was a cougar!   I asked him more than once if he realized I was 60 and he assured me that I didn’t look 60 (smooth!) and that I wasn’t a cougar unless I was ten years older!   He also said that he had more gray hair than I did…I kept the hair coloring a secret that day!!).

Okay, sensitive information is about to be shared!   I told him that I was looking for companionship...someone to join me on day trips, go to the movies, share a meal, talk about our days together, etc...  He said, "Is that all?"  Translated to:  how about sex?   YIKES!!   I said, "Are you asking me about sex?"   WAIT, WHAT?   WHO AM I????     We did continue the conversation in a grown up way, but I'll keep that to myself for now. 

After about 90 minutes, he checked his phone and I realized what time it was...OH NO!!!  I forgot to text my friends to let them know I was okay!   I asked him to excuse me while I sent a quick note...both of them had done exactly what they were asked to do, sending multiple texts to check on me, but fortunately, they had not shown up at Graeters to "rescue me."  

Mike and I agreed that we had a nice time and we'd like to meet again.   We parted ways and for the next few days, there was chatting.   He sent a text every morning...which was a big deal!   We ended up meeting again for pizza and beer and there may have been a kiss goodbye.   That was huge...it was my first kiss with a man since Greg.   I surprised myself, but I did it!   We went out another night to movie and dinner...again, very nice evening.

We met again for dinner and the Bengals game at my place (WHAAAAAAAATTTT???) and enjoyed the evening.   Now, I'm not sure, but I think if I would have invited him to "stay" he would have.   But I didn't.   I'm not sure what happened after that.  (well, I think I know)  The contact became less frequent.   I had made the decision that the next move had to be his.   He has teenagers and as a result, he wasn't as available for me as I would have liked.   I sent a note the day before Thanksgiving wishing him a nice holiday and he responded but there has been nothing since.   I'm fairly certain that he wanted a "good time gal" or as the online community calls it a sex buddy.   Well, I may be a #grownasswoman but I'm no one's sex buddy.   More on that later!

I liked Mike, the ice cream man, but it wasn't meant to be.   I'm thinking it was a good way to re-enter the dating world, to get an idea of what I wanted.  

This post has gotten way longer than I planned, so I'll close for now...but Match.com has been good to me.  Better than the other sites.   I'll fill you in as we go along.   For now, know that I am having fun and right now, that's what it is about!    Stay tuned for more dating adventures...next Sunday!!

 For your entertainment...a few pictures from the online sites...enjoy!

This is how they entice you to go to the site!!   The email subject line says "Lisa, meet your matches!"

Ben Franklin???

YES...that is a crazy mustache...foo man choo?  No thanks!