Smart, Strong and Sassy

 

Three years ago, while starting the divorce process, I found my counselor.  I have always believed in counseling and so the decision to get someone on board was not a difficult one.   Beth came to me randomly.  By random, I mean I Googled “counselors in the Montgomery/Blue Ash/Kenwood area” and I then read numerous bios to see who might be a good fit.

Once I reached out, I heard back from Beth almost instantly and completed an assessment (oh boy!).  I’m sure she had no idea what she was getting herself into, but we started meeting in August of 2017.  First it was weekly, then it was bi-weekly, then every three weeks, and now, it’s about once a month.

Although I’d love to have her on a weekly basis, it is not covered by insurance and it’s not cheap!  I hate those two things because it’s not fair.  People who need counseling can’t or won’t get it because of the cost.  This often spirals into other issues.  I’m fortunate that I have the income to make this a priority, but obviously, I know my financial limits and once a month is good for now.

Beth started a group session called SSS – Smart, Strong & Sassy.  It was intended for women to build a community and surround themselves with women who had been survivors or women who wanted to become survivors; women who needed to rise up from a dark place, and women who just needed a safe place.  We met on Monday nights for 8 or 10 weeks.  At first, it seemed like a big commitment, but then, it became the “fix” I needed each week.

I have done the group thing three times and I have learned so much from each session, but my first round was the most fulfilling.  After attending those sessions, I knew that I was going to survive…because to be honest, there were times when I wasn’t sure!

Fast forward to yesterday when the SSS group on Facebook was very active!  Beth had asked us as a group:

In what ways are you Smarter, Stronger and Sassier now than when we first met one another?

My reply:  “Hmmmm…I can hardly remember the me before!  Is that a good thing?  I came to my first group as a woman trying to recover from the biggest heartbreak ever.  I met some fantastic women, some with their own heartbreak, and I found that I am not alone!  I don’t know if I am smarter (I’ve made a few dumb mistakes in the past 3 years) but I am stronger on many levels…like starting a blog, exposing my vulnerabilities, finding strength in doing things on my own (road trips, dining out, managing my finances and investments, etc…) and let’s just say I was born sassy so if I’m not more sassy than before, it’s not a bad thing!  Thanks to Beth and those women who crossed my path during the last three years!”

Those three words are so powerful for me!  The comments above were my Facebook words, but I have been mulling those words around for the past 24 hours. 

Am I smarter than I was three years ago?  I’d like to think so!  I learn something about myself every day…literally.  I learned that I have patience…something most would not know about me based on my behavior.  I’ve learned when to “argue” and when to just keep my mouth shut!  That’s definitely smarter!  I’ve learned a lot about managing my finances.  I’m not a pro, but I’m learning along the way.  I’ve learned not to “settle.”  I don’t deserve any special treatment, but I don’t have to do something that doesn’t feel right for me.  I’m smarter about a lot of things today.  So, yeah, I’d say I’ve gotten smarter in the past three years.

Am I stronger today than I was three years ago?  Hell yes!  Oh I have my moments as you all know, but sometimes, I do surprise myself at the strength I find to do or say certain things.  I think the biggest improvement in my strength is my ability to make the decisions like moving back to Louisville.  My efforts with my parents are definitely calling on my strength…oh Lawd!!  I’ve been stronger in my efforts to enforce boundaries with those who have often pushed my buttons.  I’ve found the strength to say NO which has always been one of my weaknesses.  I’m still wimpy on some things but I’m getting better. 

Am I sassier than I was three years ago?  Welp…I hate to admit but I probably am.  I’ve tried to keep my sassiness in its place but sometimes, it just goes AWOL!  Hopefully, if you have seen it, you have told me to “simma down” but if I unleash on you, please tell me to take my sass elsewhere. 

So, there you have it…Join me in celebrating being Smart, Strong and Sassy!  It works for me!!

XOXOXO