My Playlist, My Life…
A few years ago, like shortly after my separation, I
finally started using my smart phone to get music. I downloaded a couple of
songs that I liked, although they weren’t the best for me mentally. I then decided
to download more songs and soon I had 20 songs on my first “fun songs” (my
title) playlist.
I would always have it cued up in my car so whenever I got
in, my “fun songs” would come on. I found myself singing happily most days, as
I drove to and from work or ran my various errands.
For once, I could really sing along. I knew the words. I was
never good at memorizing lyrics, mainly because I didn’t really know what some
of them were. These songs, I listened to regularly, over and over and I sang
them all the time!
Recently, I’ve found myself listening to NPR or a podcast
in the mornings, or sometimes, making a quick phone call, so my playlist has
been inactive. Then last Monday, I got into the car and “She’s a Bad Mamma
Jamma” came on and I just started to rock out! I hadn’t heard that song in so
long, and if I’m to be honest, I often think of that song as my jam. I am
a Bad Mamma Jamma, (in my mind!) but my measurements are not perfect in every
dimension and I don’t have a figure that “sho ‘nuff pay attention.” I’m certain
that no one gets excited “viewing her anatomy.” However, getting in the car and
singing this song at the top of my lungs makes me feel awesome!
The next couple of songs on the playlist were not so great.
One was “Lonely Tonight” by Blake Shelton and it was followed by “Need You Now”
by Lady A. I loved those songs, for a variety of reasons but they were songs
that gave me the feels when I was going through my divorce.
Skipping through the list I found others like “Him” by Rupert
Holmes, “Better Man” by Little Big Town, and “Before He Cheats” by Carrie Underwood.
OMG! Who was I???
I wasn’t bitter, but I was full of self-doubt and pity and
these songs made me feel something…better, sad, comfortable, etc…Who knows? All
I know is last Monday, I decided my life is so much better than that playlist.
Sooooo, I am determined to have a new playlist.
This playlist will have some of my favorites, regardless of
the feels. I know that these will be included: “Bad Mamma Jamma,” “Brick House(r),
“Love Shack, “Dream On,” “Isn’t She Lovely,” a selection of Chicago and Earth,
Wind & Fire songs, and more. These are songs that were playing during my
youth and I love them.
This playlist will have a fun, remember when, loving feel. It
will reflect my life after divorce. I’m healing, I’m happy, and although I won’t
pretend that I like living in my old bedroom, I’m doing just fine. I am not
alone.
Listening to this playlist has been eye-opening for me. It truly
showed me where I was and once again, how far I have come.
When this new playlist comes on in my car, I don’t want to skip
to the next song because it’s sad. I want to have a smile on my face because
the song reminds me of good times or good friends. I’d love your suggestions to
help me complete this list! What’s on your list?
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