Emotions…Mine Are All Over The Place…

 

*Warning:  This post will go topsy turvy. If you can’t handle it, I understand. Maybe you’re feeling the same!

 

This week started off with a holiday! Nothing like a long weekend to bring joy to a working girl! After that, it seemed that everything just tanked!

My grandson, Adrian, had his first fever! No big deal for experienced parents, but for a five-month-old baby, it was not pleasant. It was an ear infection, (easily treated) but of course, he and Gabriel had to have Covid tests. Gabriel was cleared to go to daycare for his three days. Adrian was Covid free, but because of his fever, he’s home with Momma. Naturally, this CeCe was worried, but feeling much better after some medication (for Adrian!) worked its magic!

Over the weekend, I received word that one of our classmates had died. He was sick for a very short time, and now, he’s gone. Then, just 3 days later, another classmate died very unexpectedly. I also learned of the death of the mother of one of our classmates. In addition, one of our families we serve at my job, lost the matriarch of their family so I’ll be attending her visitation as well.

Before this week is over, I will attend visitation/funeral of three people and sometime in March, we will celebrate the life of the second classmate. This just sucks!

The Mother of my classmate lived a full rich life. The matriarch of this family I barely know, was living a life of challenges. Both of these women were in their late 80s-90s.

My two classmates were in their early 60s…just like me. We expect to bury our parents, but we do not expect to bury our classmates so soon. Two in one week has given me pause, reflecting on my own mortality. It hurts. It’s scary. I’m sad.

I have had time to think about the two classmates and how grateful I am to have been able to see them and spend time with them at our November reunion. There were laughs and hugs and memories shared. These two guys made their rounds and seemed to have an awesome time. So many of us were able to have quality time with them, which may not have happened if the reunion had been cancelled.

One of my roles is my “self-appointed” class communicator. I am the person that sends emails to classmates when things happen. (good and bad) Most of the time, it’s a happy job, but this week, it has not been fun. Unfortunately, this week has been busier than normal. It’s made me sad.

Life is fragile! Life is good! Some days are better than others. But damn…for whatever reason, this has been hard. I can’t stop thinking about my classmates and their families. I can’t stop thinking of others who have lost loved ones too soon. I also can’t stop thinking about the fact that I am entering a stage in life where I will surely hear about these deaths more. UGH!

Rather than curl up into the fetal position that I honestly feel like doing right now, I’m thinking about a couple of social outings I have coming up…tonight and Friday. I will treasure those two gatherings with friends and I will be hard-pressed to say no to future gatherings. I want to soak them up as much as I can.

With Covid rates going down, I feel like that scene from the Wizard of Oz, where the munchkins start to come out from under their mushrooms and sunflowers, where they see that their lives are bright once again! (When the black & white movie changes to Technicolor!)

Everyday is a new day. I know that I will try to see things a little more clearly, try not to host those pity parties I often plan. I will be a good friend, whatever that may mean.

Life is fragile, life is oh so short, but I plan on living my best life and at these funerals, my tears will be for me, and those left behind. It will not be for my deceased friends, as they are free of pain.

Today, hug your family and friends a little tighter. Don’t sweat the small stuff. Be kind!
Love you all!!!