Getting Ready for Lent…

Hopefully, this blog post will not throw anyone into a state of panic for my soul! Rest assured that I am fine. I believe in God and my Catholic roots, but I continue to struggle with the church for a variety of reasons.

So why do I always wonder what my Lent will look like every year? I’m not sure! All I know is after decades of life, I am always considering things I plan to do for Lent.

I remember as a kid, it was a big decision to decide what I was going to “give up!” My Mom would make suggestions…no Kool-Aid, no sweets, no bedtime snacks, no fast food, no this, no that, etc…Usually, we gave up candy. As I got older, the fast food was a big sacrifice.

Even as an adult, I would try to “give up” something. There were times when I gave up alcohol. Then I gave up alcohol during the week. I gave up fast food, I gave up dining out and saved money to donate to charity, I gave up Target, I gave up the internet except for when I was at work. And the list goes on…

Then, my faith in the Catholic Church started to waiver. I felt like I was becoming a “cafeteria Catholic,” choosing the church teachings I wanted to believe and letting go of the things I didn’t agree with…birth control, same sex marriage, women without an active role in the church, pro-life, etc…

Now, I’m no pure Catholic, although I do believe that I know some. But for whatever reason, I came to think that giving up on some of these things, made me less of a Catholic and as a result, going to Mass became more of a chore, not the weekly blessing I had grown up with, cherishing my hour in peace with my faith.

I’m not sure exactly when that happened, but it was a difficult time for me. I continued to go to Mass on most Sundays, but I questioned myself every week.

When I got divorced, I struggled even more! Divorce and the Catholic Church are not friends. But as a “cafeteria Catholic” I chose not to find guilt.

A few years ago, I chose to start doing more positive things during Lent, instead of “giving up” something. I did one act of kindness each day. I wrote love letters to people who were in my life, one letter each day for 40 days. I put together a charity bag and each day, I put one item in that bag (household things, clothing, etc…) and on Holy Saturday, I donated things to Goodwill. These were positive things I could do and make a difference during Lent.

Of course, don't forget meatless Fridays. This has always been a standard thing in our house, but as I got older, I realized that seafood was not a sacrifice. Most people enjoy seafood. The Catholic churches had fundraising fish frys and seafood buffets were the go-to on Friday night. This isn't really a sacrifice but I do love a good fried fish sandwich!

This year, although it’s getting late, I’m not sure what I will do. I’m sure I’ll figure out something, but I won’t necessarily tell anyone until it’s over. I just know that despite my relationship with the church, I do feel like Lent is my renewal time.

Oh…I just realized the National Random Acts of Kindness Day is next Wednesday, Ash Wednesday. I think I know what I’m doing this year!  xoxoxox