Excuse me, you look so familiar!   Do I know you?

I know this may sound like a pick-up line, but this post is not about my dating life.   I don’t know if you ever hear that line, but I get it every now and then and I always roll through the various places that I could have been connected to the person…Church, School, Neighborhood, Work, etc…  

Sometimes, some place will click and sometimes it just stays a mystery.   But sometimes, it knocks me off of my feet.   “Are you a model for Chicos?”    Yes, someone, actually more than one, has used that line on me.   Now I know what you are thinking… “Lisa, a model?”   Well, it was only a few years ago that I would have said the same thing.   But, five years ago, I took a leap of faith, and volunteered to be a “model” at a fashion show.

With a room full of women on Derby Day 2015, I “walked the runway” for the first time!   I modeled three outfits from Chicos and strutted to the music, welcomed the applause, and found out that I was a natural.  (well maybe not a natural, but I loved it!!)   To quote a line from Blake Shelton’s song, “Baby You Look Good!!”  

It was an eye opening day for me.   I have always felt confident and most of the time comfortable in my own skin.  However, stepping up on stage in outfits that had never been on my shopping list, gave me a whole new level of confidence.   I loved the me who was a “model for the day!”    It’s amazing how that experience made me feel.  

I also find it pretty amazing how all of that self confidence and love of one’s self can slip away so easily.   I know that first hand.   It’s like reaching the top of the mountain, then realizing there’s no where else to go and someone pushes you down.   It doesn’t take long for the bubble to burst.     

When my marriage ended, I had some of those feelings.   I had in my head that our marriage was special.   We survived good times, bad times, poor times (never had the rich times!), and I thought we were different from so many of the rest of the married people.   Katie had said once that she had gotten cocky about our family…we were different.   Boy, was I wrong.  

On December 5, 2016, my confidence level took a nose dive.   Oh, most people had no clue, but my inner self was dying.   I felt like I was “performing” every day.   I had NO self-confidence.   All of a sudden, I felt that I was a failure.   I didn’t know how I would ever feel differently.   

In May 2017, with my marriage situation still a secret from everyone, I was on the runway again.   I strutted for the audience, but inside, I was broken and so terribly sad.  And really, so alone.  

Fast forward to now, today, April 2019.   I’m still a work in progress, but yesterday, I went to J Jill to be fitted for my fifth appearance as a model in upcoming the fashion show.   I had gone out to breakfast with a friend, so needless to say I was not feeling “thin!”  But it is what it is.   

I walked in to the store that was fairly crowded, with a line to the dressing room.   “YAY!   There’s Lisa, one of our models!” was what the manager said as she caught sight of me!   All of a sudden, I felt all of the attention on me.   You might be surprised (or not) to know that I liked it…No, I loved it!  *Katie may have gotten her love of the stage from me!!    I do enjoy being the center of attention...Some know me as a PEACOCK!

I’m sure there were naysayers in the store, wondering who I modeled with or who I really was, but for the most part, I found my sass and met the manager who hugged me, and said, “I’ve pulled so many great things for you!!”   People were watching and I was not going to disappoint them!  

I began trying on my pre-selected outfits and stepping out into the store for everyone to see.   For the first time, in a while, I felt confident!  I felt sassy!  I remembered that I am a grown ass woman!    I tried on several things and finally settled on three casual and fun outfits!   I’m ready for the show!!

Back to the original title of this blog.    When people have approached me and asked, “Are you a model for Chicos?”  I have smiled and said, “Well, I have done some modeling for them but now, I’m with J Jill!”   LOL!!   Okay, it may be a little bit of a stretch as I am not paid by anyone to be a model, but I am “rich” from this brief gig as a model.    I love being recognized as a model, as it is one of the furthest things from what or who I really am.  If strutting your stuff on a Saturday in May, in front of a ballroom full of women, clapping and complimenting me, gets me recognized as a model, even if it is just briefly, at a restaurant, I’ll take it!!

My upcoming show is Saturday, May 11…let me know if you want to join the fun!   I’m sure I’ll have a picture or two coming up after the show!  I don't want to reveal this year's outfits until the show.   (I have a couple of pictures from past shows attached!).  I may not always be confident, inside and out, but on those occasions when I am…I will treasure them!!  

T