One foot in and one foot out!

When I was thinking about what I would write today, I thought about my week.   I have something every night (shocking!) and it’s a mix of things…

In the process of previewing my week, it dawned on me that I actually have a couple of things that almost “conflict” with my life these days.   It seems I have one foot in my past life and one foot in my future life!  

Here’s the deal…Last night, I met with Greg.  This is the first time in a long time that I have seen him.   I felt a bit anxious going into the “meeting!”   It was actually very casual, at a local sports bar, and really, nothing to be anxious about.   I requested the get together because we have some business to discuss about taxes.   Since this is our first year to do our taxes separately, I need to make sure I have all of my ducks in a row.   I’m a bit stressed about this because of the spousal support adding to my income and not having the deductions we’ve always had with charitable giving, mortgage interest, etc…But, it is what it is, and I just need to make sure I have the necessary figures from last year’s taxes to have available for my forms.   

*INSERT EDITORIAL COMMENT-I am fortunate that I do get spousal support.  However, this is money that was determined to be part of our settlement, based on a 34 year marriage, my income, and my expenses.   My point here is that I am not getting rich by any means.   This money allows me to live comfortably and be able to save a bit as well.  I am conflicted when this is money that I need but have to claim it as additional income, which puts me in a different tax bracket,  and it is a nice deduction for Greg, when his expenses have been cut way back.  I’m not mad,  just anxious about what this will mean for me…maybe the money I have saved will be used to pay the IRS…if so, I’ll be grateful that I have it.  It’s stuff like this that sometimes stirs the bitter pot!   OKAY…end of rant. 

At any rate, the meeting was a pleasant exchange of information about each other, and Katie, and then the tax talk.   I literally talked non-stop most of the time.  (shocking!)  I didn't think I was nervous but after realizing that I was a huge part of the chatter, I know it was a nervous me trying not to have any lulls, or tears.  I'm sure Greg had an inside voice saying, "Geez, I don't miss the non-stop talk!!"  After that, we were able to part, amicably.  I truly felt the desire/need to hug Greg, but I didn’t.   Not sure when that will happen but the timing wasn’t right.    This is when I feel like I’m taking a couple of steps backwards…and I don’t like it.   Primarily because it takes me a little time to get over it.   I know I will “get over it” but it isn’t always easy.  

Tomorrow, on Thursday night, I have put together a group of strangers!   (shocking!)   I have definitely stepped out of my comfort zone on this one, kind of, and will be meeting a group of divorced women for happy hour.  These are women I have never met and I'm excited and maybe a little anxious too!

I have become aware of these women through a Facebook page that I am on called Worthy Women & Divorce.   I think I have mentioned it a time or two.   There is a group of women in Ohio that have started an off-shoot page and I decided that it might be fun to meet up.   I went out on a limb and invited women in the area (Cincinnati and surrounding areas) to join me for happy hour at a local restaurant from 5-8pm tomorrow.   Right now, we have over a dozen who have indicated that they would like to join the group.   Now, I’m not sure how many will actually show up, and it could be a total bust, but I’ll be there, around 4:45pm, to meet and greet these women.    I feel like I have nothing to lose and I think, it will be nice to connect with women who are in various stages of their lives through divorce.  I have a feeling I’ll be the oldest…but you all know, I can hold my own with the young ones.    I will also give them a little token to remember the group by...something small, but something they can hold on to.   (a sneak peek is below!)

So my friends, hold on to your hats!   I'll have a full report on Sunday...and in the meantime, I'll try to keep my balance!   One foot in the past and one foot in the future...XOXOXO