With this ring...

    Taking off my wedding ring

Okay, so to review, this situation began in December 2016, shared with family in June 2017, told more friends in August/September 2017, and Greg moved out in September 2017...and I was alone in the house we had built together.   

Lots of things were changing but we were still connected as we were trying to sell the house, divide our belongings, and navigate this new life.  

I was still wearing my wedding rings.   Although it was clear that the marriage was over, I wasn’t ready to put the rings away.   In late fall 2017, I gathered with some friends for a girl’s night in Louisville and felt the love and support of good girlfriends – all who had been through divorce and even the death of a spouses.   After lots of drinks and tears, one of them asked, “Why are you wearing that ring?”   I truly had no answer.   Then as if well-rehearsed, they all told me it was time to take it off. 

I so appreciated their love for me and their well-meaning intentions, but I wasn’t ready.    With my tears, they backed down and said that they knew I would do it when the time was right for me.   We moved on to another topic and that was that.

For the next several days, I tried going around the house without my ring, and didn’t like it…This ring, although had been changed up over the years, had been a part of me for nearly 34 years.   My ring finger actually had an indention because this ring had been on my hand for so long.  

I then found myself purchasing a couple of costume rings that I could wear in place of my wedding ring.  One morning, in December 2017,  I took my rings off…I took a picture, and I sent a text to those friends!   They all celebrated this big step with me via text.   I'm not sure "celebrate" is the right word, but it was a step.

This was a huge step for me (gosh, I think I say that a lot about the things that I do these days!) but it was a necessary one.   I decided I was ready. 

Fast forward to the summer of 2018.   After my 60th birthday, I took my 2-piece wedding set and all of the blue topaz jewelry I had accumulated over the years from Greg, to our jeweler.    We had used this jeweler to reset my original rings and had purchased other jewelry from him.  

At my appointment, there was some raw emotion...the divorce was final, I was sharing the news with someone else, and my history, in jewelry, was about to be changed forever.  Justin, the jeweler, was so kind and made me feel like he was excited to give me some new memories with this beautiful collection of jewels.   I totally trusted him and left the jewelry with him.  Justin knew I was emotionally fragile at that moment and as I was preparing to leave, he asked, "Can I give you a hug?"   With tears in my eyes, of course I hugged him. 

*These types of things are reminders that I'm not alone...and give me strength!

 

When I got to the car, I lost it...I'm not sure why the tears come when they do and Lord knows I have no idea when they will come, but they came...I sat there and cried for a good five minutes.   What had happened to my life?  Was I really doing this?  Fortunately for me, it was a rainy Saturday morning so no one noticed and slowly, I pulled away and headed for home.

I had a few days of thinking about my rings...the history...my original engagement diamond came from Greg's Grandfather.   Some of the stones used in my original wedding ring came from my Grandmother's ring.  I loved my wedding set.  Then, after 20 years, I had it re-set into one big ring.   It was lovely, but I was never totally excited about it.   Then, the diamond fell out and with the grace of St. Anthony, it was found but had some damage so it was set aside for a future plan to have it re-set.

This final re-setting had occurred just before Katie's wedding in 2012...just 4 years before this divorce story began.  And just 2 years after that, a second ring was added to the first one, giving me a beautiful new set.   So, although it had not been part of me for long, there was a history with the diamonds in both rings.   And...the new rings were still new.

In August, 2018, Justin called to tell me that my new pieces were ready.   I COULD NOT WAIT!   I was so ready for my new ring and my new accent piece pendant.   I went into his office a couple of days later, not sure what to expect.   Justin said, "I hope you love them as much as I do!"  

 

First up, the right hand ring.   The setting had been fashioned after my Grandmother's ring, and some additional diamonds from that ring were added.   I LOVED IT!!   And yes, I cried!  It was perfect and Justin had done a wonderful job.   We talked about the sentiment of mimicking her ring and at that moment, I was at peace.   

 

Next, Justin could hardly contain himself with the next piece.   He had taken earrings, a ring, and a pendant, all in blue topaz, and put them together to make one statement pendant.  I was ecstatic and overcome.   It was stunning!    It was even more beautiful than the picture Justin had sent to me.   

 

After talking for a few minutes and settling up, I hugged Justin and I was on my way.  When I got to the car...I cried...This time, it was a mix of tears...crying for the end of the jewelry that had always told my marriage story and crying for the new beginnings that this jewelry on my person represented.   New beginnings...that's what I reminded myself.  

My new ring is with me every day.  It represents my past, but more importantly, it represents the new me.   It is worn on my right hand and makes me smile.   My pendant is my pride and joy!   I love the blue topaz stones and as a result, often find myself looking for a shirt to wear that will highlight the necklace.   When I am complimented on it, I sometimes say, "this represents 34 years of gifts from my marriage." 

 

Today, while re-reading this post, I smile, with a lump in my throat.   It's a new beginning, but it is also a reminder that my past is that...the past.   Sometimes, that's just hard.   Now excuse me while I accessorize!!!   

This is a view of my Grandmother's ring.             My amazing new pendant!   So many feels!

                             A few diamonds taken from Grandma's ring to put into my ring.

My finished product...right hand ring with solitaire!