What would you say?

I know most of you are not in this place and I pray that you don't ever really have to go there...online or regular dating at an "advanced age" like me!    However, I just wonder if you had to think about an “elevator speech” for yourself, how would it go?

After dining with friends, we were talking about this and one of my friends said, “Gosh, that’s really interesting.   I can't imagine what I would say?”

So, I started thinking about it.   Since I’m not getting boatloads of hearts or likes, I’m wondering if I need to change up my profile.   Maybe my profile isn’t funny enough, or maybe it’s boring to some.  Maybe I'm too honest.   Maybe I need some guidance in setting it up, or maybe I just don’t get the whole thing.   LOL!   I think the last comment is probably my situation.   I really don’t get it. 

Why do people go online to find a companion, partner, date or sex buddy?   Lots of reasons are out there, but I know I went online because I am not comfortable going to a bar alone and the “friends of friends” thing hasn’t panned out yet.  I felt some comfort behind the screen…DING!  DING!! DING!!!  That’s it…there’s safety (on some level) behind the computer screen.    I’m guessing that’s the main reason most people do it…it’s easy, you can be in your PJs when you are looking, and you can always block someone that steps out of bounds.   When I read this paragraph, I cringe.   Am I one of those people, hiding behind the screen?  

I don’t think so.   To be honest, I know many people who have had success with the online thing and thought I should give it a try.   You don't know unless you try.

When I first started the process, I thought I sounded amazing online!  Dark hair, blue eyes, “curvy,” job, middle of the road politically, adult kid, non-smoker, Italian sass and a slightly southern accent…Who wouldn’t want me???    Turns out there are a few who say they want to meet me, but when I say I’m not looking for a “sex buddy” things go silent.   I do not initiate that in my communication but when a guy asks, I have no problem being up front about it.  There is no reason to set myself up for failure.  It's part of being 60 and a grown ass woman.

My question to you is…Is this too much information up front?   I am old fashioned…WARNING!  SUPER PERSONAL INFORMATION COMING!!   I was a virgin when I got married (I think the last living virgin in Louisville!) and I have only been intimate with one person.   I have been of the thinking that guys don’t necessarily want someone who is too readily available.   Remember the trampy girls in school?   They were talked about in the locker room and I didn’t want to be one of those…even now.   

Fast forward to 2019 and it seems that some guys are intimidated by the fact that I’ve only been with one person.  Do they think I'm not experienced?  Ummmm...they may be right!  Do they think I will be comparing them to my only one?  Ummmm...I really don't think so.

I don't know what the hell they are thinking...So, I'm not sure what I should be saying and doing when these people are approaching me.   AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!   

I met with my counselor this week and I had this discussion with her.   I have no clue how to "date" in 2019!   I need advice!   She laughed at me and with only my best interest at heart, she said, "Okay, I think you need to take it down a notch!"   WHAAAAAAAATTTTTT????  Me?  Take it down a notch?   What does that mean???

She started by telling me that saying "monogamous" to a man is scary.   Most men aren't ready to be monogamous until 3-4 months down the road.  Use the word "exclusive" or even "committed" but not monogomous!   Okay, I got it!

She also said, you don't have to tell everyone that you have only been with one man...that puts a lot of pressure on a man.   I'm still not sure that's how it is, but she is a professional, so I will give it a shot. 

She also said, when a guy asks me what I want in a relationship and i say, "I'm looking for someone to have dinner with, someone to go to happy hour, someone to go to special events with, someone to take day trips with, etc..." a man is probably exhausted just reading or hearing that!   Her suggestion to me was to say something simple...like, "I'm looking to build a relationship with someone, finding common interests and exploring new things with someone.."   Oh boy...this dating thing is getting more serious now!
I know that I am a defense attorney's worst nightmare.   I know that when you are asked a question, you are supposed to just answer the question.   "Did you see the vehicle run through the stoplight?"  My answer would be "On Saturday, the sun was really bright.   I was driving my husband's car because mine was in the shop.   After I stopped a McDonalds for a diet Coke, I turned left...blah blah blah...", then I would say, "Yes,  I saw the car run through the stoplight."  An attorney would want to strangle me!!   Now, I know, "just the facts mam...just the facts."   This is what I need to do to "take it down a notch!"

With that being said, I'm learning that less is more...So, I won't broadcast everything up front.  I need to save some things for the second or third date.  LOL!

I don't wish this on anyone!!   It's just such a game.   I'm not giving up.  I have faith that there are good people out there, they just might not be on Match.com.

Now...I need to update my profile and I will keep you posted on what happens next!