You Can’t Make This S@%# Up!

I’ve always said that when I have the time to sit down and write my book, this will be the title!  My life the past few weeks has given me the confidence to use this title and mean it!

There have been a variety of incidents this past few weeks and some of them are too much for the blog, and some of them just make me want to cry…then laugh…then cry! 

Perhaps a sampling of my life these days would be what happened last Thursday.  Mt. Notre Dame had an all-day retreat for faculty and staff.  As you know, the Gala is just a few weeks away (less than three weeks as of today!).  I was given permission to skip the retreat for this very reason. 

My options for the day were to be in the school building all alone or to work from home.  Well, at this point, working from home would not be very productive because the things that I need access to are all at my desk at MND.  My tablet from MND would be helpful, but any references that I would need to make would be impossible from home, unless I took lots of things home. 

After talking with one of the assistant principals, I felt I could safely work from MND.  I would text when I arrived and when I left and as you can imagine, she has access to security things through her phone so she would know if there was anything shady happening.  So, I made the decision to work at my MND office.  That’s when everything went downhill!

I left home at 7:45am on Thursday to get my nails done (priorities people!).  I then stopped for an iced tea and a breakfast sandwich to go.  When I arrived at MND, not a car in the lot, I used my lanyard to get in.  As I approached the main office, I found it locked.  “OH NO IT’S NOT…” Like someone could hear me!  I promptly sent notices to my co-workers and the assistant principal, letting them know I would be working from home as the office I needed to get through to my office was locked.

As I got off the exit for home, one of my co-workers told me about another door that should work for me.  I turned around and headed back.  Low and behold, it did work, and I was able to access the outer office and get into my office.  I propped the door open like we do and I set out working.  I even took a selfie and sent a note to co-workers letting them know I had made it in!

Shortly after settling in, I went to the restroom.  While inside, I heard a loud slam…”Oh crap…someone’s in the building!”  Then, I realized, my office door had just slammed shut!  What did this mean?  I literally had only had the clothes on my back…no purse, no phone, no keys, nothing!  However, I did still have my lanyard with access to the “lanyard” doors!  That served me no purpose.

First, panic, then anger, then disbelief, then holy Hell…what am I going to do?  I took a deep breath, went to the front desk, and called Greg…or so I thought.  I got a wrong number.  Since I didn’t have my phone and it had been awhile since I had to call his number without it, I had to use his office number, which was easy to recall. 

I’m grateful for our post-divorce relationship because instantly, he offered to let me use his car.  I would then drive out to the retreat center to get keys.  Remember, I did not have my purse (no license), no phone (no GPS), no keys (to my car or office), so I began calling my co-workers listed in a directory at the front desk.  These co-workers were doing what we all do…screening their calls…they were wondering why a Mt. Notre Dame number was popping up on their phones.  Little did they know, their hardworking friend was in a crisis!  

Finally, someone did decide to call Mt. Notre Dame and I answered.  We arranged to meet at the retreat center to do a key exchange.  So the process began…Greg picked me up, I dropped him off at work, I went to the retreat center (with the printed directions he had made for me since I didn’t have GPS!), got the keys, went to pick up Greg and he dropped me off at Mt. Notre Dame.

What had started as excitement to get so much done, leaving home at 7:45am, ended with finally sitting down at my computer at 1pm.  I built a barricade at my office door…making certain that the door would not have a chance to slam shut.   I stayed until 6:30pm when I decided I didn’t want to be in the building alone at night.  I was productive.  I survived!

I may have used the PA to make a couple of announcements while I was waiting for Greg to pick me up…I said, “Your attention please…IS THERE ANYBODY IN THIS BUILDING???”  Then I laughed!  

I found the emergency stash of candy at the front desk…and dug out some Tootsie Rolls…stress eating of course.  Then I spotted the camera in the ceiling!  OY!

The biggest thing I learned was to always have your phone with you.  ALWAYS!  I also put my office key on my lanyard so I as long as I have my lanyard, I have my office key.  I’m grateful to my co-workers who were so kind to help me get the keys and who probably had a good laugh picturing me going through this crisis!

Finally, I realized how very fortunate I am to have a good relationship with my ex-husband, someone who I had depended on for 34 years…and still can. 

And so, another chapter in my book is complete…