Martini Musings

- October 13, 2019

Out of My Comfort Zone!

When I first started this blog, I was thinking about using it for the starting over process which would include my next chapter. There were some funny stories about my “online dating” experiences. There were life experiences. There were observations. Well, if you have been reading this blog, I've moved away from the “online dating” experiences to my life experiences in general. I've decided I'm not an online dating girl!

Today, I have an update on my social life. Before anyone asks “are you dating?” No, I am not dating! However, I did venture out on Friday and I think it is blog worthy!!

I am a MeetUp member. MeetUp is an online way to get together with people who have similar interests. I’ve mentioned it a few times. There are hiking groups, book clubs, happy hour groups, martini clubs, game groups, and just about any kind of group you can think of. I am a member of about six different groups. However, the two that I have participated in are the Single and Over 50 and Single and Over 60.

I wrote about the over 60’s group last year. I felt like the group was a little too old for me…even though it was my age group. On Friday night, I went out with the Over 50 and Single group. Totally different type of event and the group didn’t seem “old.”

The event was part of a larger event. The final dance of the year at Moonlite Gardens, part of Coney Island. Tables were undercover but the dance floor was under the stars. The band was amazing (Blue Stone Ivory) and the weather cooperated (mostly). The MeetUp group encouraged costumes as it was billed as a Halloween event but costumes were not required. I had purchased two tickets in hope that I would find a single friend to go with me.

My friend was available, and we ventured out. We sent text messages prior to our departure, asking what we planned to wear. She said, “Gosh this is just like high school!!” I must admit, I was a little anxious and actually thought to myself, “Why did I commit to this?”

We did not choose to wear costumes, but I think my outfit choice was a good one. As we approached the entrance, we realized that we would be in the minority…lots of people were wearing costumes and they all looked good!

Our group, “Over 50 and single” gathered in an area close to the dance floor. There was Halloween candy on the tables and nametags for everyone. We found a couple of spots at a table with a few others and began small talk. We noticed a man on the dance floor alone, dancing to the recorded music that was playing prior to the band. It was apparent that he had a disability of some sort but it did not stop him!

As luck would have it, this lone dancer found his way to me prior to the band starting. He was hard to understand, but loosely translated, I think he asked how so many pretty girls could end up at one table. He kept tapping me on my back and after a little bit of small talk, he moved along. I wondered if this was an indication of what was to come.

I danced…a lot! I danced with women who were divorced, like me, and it was fun. No one knew who was dancing with who because the dance floor was packed! But, as soon as a slow song was played, I nervously cleared the floor or jumped up from the table and pretended to be taking pictures of people in their costumes, or I went to the bar, or I went to the ladies room. I did everything I could to avoid the 3-4 men who we identified as “stalkers” (men who just kept hanging around…not making any move to meet or dance or talk).

These “stalkers” were not my type…period. One was a slob, which was a total turn-off. One was in regular clothes but had a full face mask on…I don’t play that game! I need to see your face! One was chewing gum at a rate that I cannot even calculate…I admit I was fascinated at how he could chew like that, but it would not be something that would attract me. The funny thing is…I think I’m ready...by ready I mean it would be nice to have someone ask me to dance, but I guess I’m only ready for someone that is more appealing than what I saw last night. FUN FACT…a few of these men look familiar…like from Match.com. It is a small world!

With all of this being said, I guess I sound snobby or picky, but at 61, I won’t apologize for that. I did not go to the event to find an everlasting love…I went with a girlfriend, in a group of singles, to meet people. In the group of 80+ people, about 60 were women. Those lucky 20 men were either stalkers or in great demand.

That was okay with me. I had fun! I loved the music! I loved the costumes…Red Riding Hood and the Big Bad Wolf, Skinny, OLD Elvis, Sisters of Perpetual Motion (adorable nuns), a surgeon with an amputated arm and leg that she carried around, and a Blind Airline Pilot (my favorite!). There were flappers, witches, Batman, Harry Potter characters, Waldo, even a Sarah Huckabee Sanders and a Ruth Bader Ginsberg. All of these characters made for a great night.

This was people watching at its finest! It was fun, it was funny, and it was a new experience. Maybe I’ll do it again, maybe I won’t. However, I did it and I’m glad I did. Stepping out of my comfort zone is getting a little better/easier every time I do it!!