WHAT THE HELL????

Well, you would think that a girl who talks about “boobies” would have men lining up to meet her!!  LOL!!   Not so much!

I have had a few friends ask me recently to update them on my “online dating” experiences.   I haven’t had a lot to share because I have backed off of it a bit.   However, I want to keep my followers happy, so here’s a quick update.

Let’s review…At the beginning, I thought that this blog would be one day “starting over at 60” and one day would be “adventures in dating.”   It hasn’t really worked out that way, but I still have a few stories to tell, so watch out!  Right now, the only thing that I can say about online dating is, “are you kidding me?”   

Now, I know there have been success stories and I am still not sure it won’t happen to me, but my recent experiences have not been very re-assuring.   I now have a handle on what a “scammer” does with his profile.   As a result, I am able to easily eliminate a lot of potential matches.

Here’s what I have learned.   I get an email on my “dummy” email account, that someone has “liked” me.   For the sake of this example, we’ll say his screen name is Renaissance Man.   I can easily click on the link to see his profile and send a message if I want.  This past week, I did just that.   

He seemed “normal” and there were 4 pictures of him, so I sent a “heart” to him, which means he got a note saying I liked him as well.   Up next, another email to my “dummy” email that said, “Renaissance Man has sent you a message.”   When I clicked on the link to read his message, he said, “Hello Sunshine!  You look like someone who likes to have fun.”   Sounds smart, doesn’t he???   

I sent him a message that said, “Just to confirm, I do like to have fun!”   He quickly responded with, “I’m new on this site.   How long have you been on here and what are experiences?”  (yes sentence does not read well)   RED FLAG ALERT!!!   This is VERY common and I had been wondering why so many people ask that question about experiences in the first contact.  I also didn’t understand if they had a graduate degree, why they couldn’t use good grammar.   I had an “ah ha” moment…but let me continue. 

 

I told, Renaissance Man, “Oh, I’ve been on here for a little while, but I’m not a fan.   Lots of scammers.”   He wrote back, “Really?   What do you mean by scamers?  (Yes, mis-spelled by him). 

My response:  “Well, so many men pretend to be someone they are not…but let’s not focus on the negative, let’s keep it positive.”  

Renaissance Man replied:  “People pretending to be someone else?   What do you mean?  How about details?”

My response:  “It’s not important what they do…as long as you aren’t one of them, there’s no reason for me to go there.  How about sharing your name with me?”

And the response from Renaissance Man:  CRICKETS…Nothing, nadda, zilch.  And guess what?   His profile disappeared, his messages to me disappeared and his profile is no longer available.   Hmmmm….Was I too much for him to handle???   Doubtful….   Was it even a man?  Probably not.   Is this crazy?   That would be a big YES!

Now, looking back on some of the other men who have “liked” me, they sent similar messages, and disappeared…They were looking for the things that I consider “red flags” or possible scammers.   These guys want to know what the negative experiences are so they can avoid them, trying other ways to scam women,  I guess.   Well, I’m not going to help them, so good riddance!   I know there are women who fall for this stuff, but I am NOT one of them!!

I consider these experiences “wins” because I have learned to recognize one level of the scammers.   I’ve also learned that I don’t really miss checking out my potential matches regularly…checking in once a week or so is fine.  

I have to share one of my favorite experiences…it happened just last night.   I had a message that someone “liked” me so I clicked on it to check him out.   Get this, there were two guys sharing one profile site.   They each had their pictures posted, and they each had a paragraph about themselves, including their statistics in the paragraph…the last line for each of them was, “Be sure to say who you want…James or John.”   WHAT THE HELL??  

If you are too cheap to have your own profile, then you are going to be blocked by me!   I’m just shaking my head…people are crazy and people are weird!  

I’ve learned during the past few weeks of not much online dating activity…I don’t miss it…I don’t need it.   I still look forward to a time when there will be some companionship in my life, but I deserve someone special and I’m still really new to all of this…so I am embracing the learning experiences and will not settle or compromise my values.   There are nice people out there, kind people, and I have plenty of time!!   And at the risk of sounding a little self-absorbed…I know I have a lot to offer and will make someone happy someday.   Today, I will work on making myself happy!   Have a good week!!!