Super Bowl Sunday!  Time to Slow Down Lisa…

***I had this post ready to go last night.  I went to a fun gathering of friends and on my way out at the end of the evening, just feet away from my car, my boot heel caught on a sidewalk step and I went down...hard on my knees and palms.   My purse emptied out, items scattered everywhere...so when I got somewhat composed and realized that nothing was broken, I turned on my phone flashlight, crawling around and gathered all of my items.  I hobbled to my car, got in and cried...DAMN!   This is a sign...SLOW DOWN LISA!!!   So today, this post has a slightly different meaning to me…I’m definitely going to SLOW DOWN!!!

As many of you know, I’m in full GALA mode…My Gala is less than four weeks away now.   It’s crazy time in my world…at home, at work, in the car, and beyond.   So forgive me if I’m not as connected or in touch as I normally would be during these next few weeks.

That being said, there are things that may need to take a back seat.   Match.com and Silver Singles just may be in that category.   I’ve talked about the craziness of online dating and it seems that maybe, stepping back for a short time could make a difference.

I’m starting to notice that some of the same people who have been recommended as “matches” are starting to circle back around.   To me, this means either they are still looking, or their subscription is still happening even though they may have found someone.  Or it may mean that there just aren't a lot of new people signing up at the moment.

Sadly, I had sent “smiles” to some of them, but to no avail, so I’m not about to re-send a “smile” or a “like” because I’m not needy…and if I wasn’t of interest before, why would I be now?   

I’ve recently subscribed to a Facebook page that is for divorced women…Worthy Women of Divorce.  It has been eye-opening to say the least.   I have learned from many, nearly all of them, that they struggle with dating in 2019.  It seems I’m not the only one who has encountered men who really are looking for a “sex buddy” only.   I'm not the only one trying to figure out the rules of dating today.

Many of these women are a lot younger than me and they surely have more experience than me…but they are all feeling like men want one thing and one thing only.   (at least up front!)   We all have a common theme…THERE ARE NO RULES!   NO RULES FOR DATING IN 2019!   But me, Lisa...well I have rules, and I am a rule follower.   Right now, I have one rule and that is TRUST YOUR GUT!!   If it feels right…do it!   If it doesn’t feel right, step away and chalk it up to a good lesson.  

I’ve learned to trust my gut on so many levels!   I am a grown ass woman, and Lord knows I have a gut (just a little funny!) so why wouldn’t I trust it?   Well, for one, I haven’t been on a date for 35+ years, so when I did go out, I was an amateur and I was remembering my limited dating experience from a lifetime ago.  Another reason, I was trying to impress a new person…working hard to be lady like, conversational, and attractive on all levels.   I think it worked with the fellas I met at first…but then it went back to the “sex buddy” thing.  

TRUST YOUR GUT!   I have actually shared that comment on the Worthy Woman of Divorce Facebook page.   I knew that I wouldn’t even consider dating or reaching out until after I was legally divorced.   Morals people, MORALS!   Some of these women are jumping into relationships while still separated and I know this much, it’s not the right time.   I remember saying in an earlier blog post that people questioned my haste in getting into the dating scene.   I was legally divorced before doing any online dating or any thoughts of dating.   Sadly, I think these women who jump into something before healing, are going to experience a lot more trouble before they realize that they should TRUST YOUR GUT!    I can’t imagine that a separated woman would have any interest in dating…Unless she wants to be a “sex buddy!”  But, I’m not in their shoes and I don’t preach to others (especially ones I don’t know!) so I try not to judge.   I just know for me, it was not appropriate to move forward until everything was final.

So, here I am, 7 months after the final divorce decree and although it’s been entertaining, I am stepping back a bit from the online thing.   I’ll stay subscribed, for now, but I won’t check every day for someone to send a “like” or a “smile.”  I’ll log in a couple of times a week to see if there is anyone new.   If someone crosses my path, great, if not, I’ll survive.   I want you to know that I’m not in any hurry, I’m not needy and I’m crazy busy for the next four weeks!   I'm going to focus on me...my outfit(s) for the Gala, and remember that I am blessed!   

Today, I’ll be sitting in my Lazy Boy chair, ice on my knees, ibuprofen as an appetizer, and if I decide I need a Super Bowl snack, I’ll make some nachos!  I’ll watch those crazy commercials and the entertainers.   I’ll have my own Super Bowl party as I cheer for the Rams!