A Divorced woman,         on Valentine’s Day,

  0h What’s a girl to do?

Let’s be honest…Valentine’s Day isn’t the most important or the biggest holiday of all…at least it’s not to me.  My history with Valentine’s Day was been un-eventful.   As a single person many years ago, I pined for that boyfriend on Valentine’s Day.   Then, when I had one, the flowers were lovely, but truly, the idea of getting them at work in front of everyone was more exciting!   Am I right?

As a married woman, those first few Valentine’s Days had flowers and over-priced cards, and occasional jewelry or a gift.   Once Katie came along, our Valentine’s Day became more about our family.   Occasionally we did a little getaway or a family fun night.   When Katie left us to be “empty nesters,” Valentine’s Day became just another day on many levels.   We all know that true love is every day, right?  We shouldn’t feel any less loved if we don’t receive flowers or a card on February 14.  

So, why did I seem to be struggling with what Valentine’s Day would look like for me…newly divorced and alone?   I’m not really sure and to be honest, I don’t think I would have had an issue one way or another but as a blogger and someone who is trying to become more independent and empowered, I decided that I would take the leap and put myself out there.  
 

I have wanted to go to a restaurant or bar, alone, for a long time.   I have so many good friends who invite me to go out, but occasionally, I want to go out and there's no reason why I can't do it alone...especially when I'm having a good hair day, or when my outfit looks good!   I'm trying to acknowledge that it is okay to just take myself out.   The decision was made…I would go to Firebirds, a local restaurant/bar that I like, on Valentine's Day…I’m comfortable there and as far as I know, it’s not a pick-up joint. 

Valentine’s Day arrived and I dressed in my red/pink attire, ready for the day.   I packed my makeup and my hair supplies in my work bag, because I would freshen up at work…knowing if I stopped at home first, I would never end up at Firebirds.  I'm not the glamourous type, but I have to step it up if I am going to go out alone. 
 

At work that day, two of my co-workers received flowers…not just flowers, but florist delivered flowers!   Such lucky girls!   I kiddingly announced that I was going to Kroger for flowers and asked if anyone wanted some???   We had a good laugh and as it got closer to 4pm, I started to question if I was going to be able to take myself to Firebirds.  I felt the self doubt creep in.

At 4pm, I put my big girl pants on, freshened up my hair and makeup and headed to Firebirds.   It was now or never in my head, and what did I have to lose?   I arrived at Firebirds around 4:30pm.   The bar and restaurant were decked out in red, white and silver balloons tied to the backs of chairs.   There were a few people sitting at the bar but I easily found a place.  

I reviewed the bar patrons…2 older women who were regulars and probably lesbians, 2 younger couples, an older couple, and me.   There were no single patrons sitting at the bar.   It was early, so I figured I needed to be patient.   I ordered my martini and took in the sights.   Two more couples came to the bar.   Still, after about 45 minutes, no additional singles.   It was then that I decided I probably had enough of this sitting at the bar on Valentine's Day.   I placed a to-go order for dinner and finished my martini.   While I was waiting, a new guest arrived.    She was  slightly amazon like (not overweight, just large boned!) and she had a thick German accent.   “Oh my, in my country there is no Valentine’s Day…I totally forgot.”   I looked at her and smiled as she took the seat next to me. 

We exchanged pleasantries while she waited for her co-worker to join her.   She asked me if I was alone on Valentine’s Day…and I told her yes, I was recently divorced and decided to treat myself.   She praised me for that decision, which I didn’t think deserved praise but it was nice just the same.   My food arrived, I said goodnight to Helga (that’s the name I gave her!) and I was on my way.  I had lasted for about 65 minutes!    Success!!

I am very proud of myself.   It was a huge step for me and I learned a few things along the way:

1.    There is no reason to be afraid to go out alone.   Make sure it is a familiar place and you know the best place to sit.   Become familiar with the bartender and he/she can make all of the difference in your comfort level.

2.    Do NOT go out on Valentine’s Day alone.   Regardless of how you feel, it is a day for couples and more than likely, anywhere you go, there will be lots of couples.  Reminders of being alone.   Go out with friends on Galentine’s Day (2/13).

3.    Do NOT go to Firebirds on Valentine’s Day if you want to take advantage of their amazing happy hour prices.   They do not honor these prices on “holidays!”  

I don’t know what the future holds but I do know that I will continue to explore options, whether it be local restaurants and bars or day trips, alone.   I will embrace the opportunity to step out of my comfort zone.   I'll keep my title of "grown ass woman" for now...for sure!